Spinning a Pink and Blue Yarn

Posted by: , December 3, 2008 in 2:02 pm

Yesterday Michael delivered some artwork to his gallery.  Upon seeing him, someone squealed, “I hear congratulations are in order!” 

“Congratulations for what?” he replied. 

 To his surprise, the woman’s reply was a resounding, “Jessica’s pregnant!”

Uh, no.

As the color returned to Michael’s face, the gallery owner appeared.  “Yea…I heard that, too,” she said.

I guess this is what happens when you are a recluse.  People just make stuff up about you.  This rumor is peculiar.  Where did it start?  Who started it?  Do I look fat?  I weigh 106 pounds!  Michael and I are perplexed.  Since we met in 1994, we have been very vocal supporters of the “only child” concept. Don’t get me wrong.  We knew we would eventually have one child.  Only one.  After ten years of marriage, we had our one.  And, I still have nightmares about having a second child.  Benjamin is my favorite and my best (as Lola would say). 

Plus, I am an only child.  I love being an only child.  I never yearned for a sibling.  Nope.  Not me.  I’m as content as can be.

Benjamin is (and will always be) an only child.  The concept of being a singleton is dear to my heart.  In fact, I even sell a line of apparel and accessories at Café Press called Only Child™.  Only children get a bad reputation.  People think we are lonely.  People believe we are spoiled.  People assume we cannot share.  Okay, that one is true.  I hate to share.  And, I’ll gladly impart that characteristic on my singleton.  He takes good care of his toys—why should he be expected to share them with the germy, sticky-handed masses?

Well, we are attending an opening at the gallery this weekend.  I imagine quite a few people will be congratulating me on my phantom pregnancy.  I’m anxious to see Benjamin’s face when it happens.  I won’t share my copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, why would anyone think I would share my love?  Gossiping fools.


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