Death Match: Manowar vs Jonas Brothers

Posted by: , May 5, 2009 in 1:13 pm


This past weekend my six year old daughter and I had a very frustrating conversation about music. It went something like this…

Six year old – “Daddy, do you like Rock music?”

Out-Numbered – “Yes baby, I love Rock music.”

Six year old – “Cool. Me too. Do you like the Jonas Brothers?”Out-Numbered – “Not really. Maybe a little bit.”

Six year old – “Why don’t you like them? I thought you said you like Rock music.”

Out-Numbered – “I love Rock music but I don’t think the Jonas Brothers are Rock music.”

Six year old – “Yes they are.”

Out-Numbered – “I don’t think so.”

Six year old – “Then what are they?”

Out-Numbered – “I would say they are more Pop music than Rock music.”

Six year old – “What is Pop music?”

Out-Numbered – “Pop music is music that is considered popular.”

Six year old – “Then what is Rock music?”

Out-Numbered – “Rock music is a little bit heavier and a little bit louder than Pop music and it’s not always so popular.

Six year old – “Is Vanessa Hudgens Rock music?”

Out-Numbered – “Nope. Pop music.”

Six year old – “Is Ashley Tisdale Rock music?”

Out-Numbered – “Nope. Pop music.”

Six year old – “Then what is your favorite Rock band?”

Out-Numbered – “Manowar.”

Six year old – “What is Manowar?”

Out-Numbered – “The greatest Rock band of all-time.”

Six year old – “Can I hear them sing a song?”

Out-Numbered – “Sure. Hang on one second.”

(I run downstairs to grab the 1984 Manowar classic, Hail to England on CD. I race back upstairs and pop in track one: Blood of my Enemies.)

Out-Numbered – “This is Manowar.”

(She listens and stares at the CD player for thirty seconds. She looks like she’s sucking on a lemon.)

Six year old – “This sucks!”

Out-Numbered – “You suck!”

Six year old – “Whatever.”

Kids today have no respect for real music… The Jonas Brothers should have to do a fucking internship for Manowar in order to be allowed to live. Jeez, I bet Manowar never felt Out-Numbered…


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