What Would Ozzy Do?

Posted by: , November 11, 2009 in 12:19 pm


outnumbered15 What Would Ozzy Do?Driving in the car with my two daughters. My wife is at the Salon, again. We are on a mission. French Toast and Bacon at the Diner.

I have Black Sabbath playing in the CD player. I love Black Sabbath but it is obvious that my daughters do not share this passion with their Father.

Out-Numbered (Singing in Ozzy Falsetto)- “Nobody will ever let you know. When you ask the reasons why”

3 Yr Old – “You’re the best singer in the whole world Daddy.”

Out-Numbered – “Thank you sweetheart.” (Continue singing) “They just tell you that you’re on your own. Fill your head all full of lies…”

7 Yr Old – “No he’s not. He’s the worst singer in the whole world.”

Out-Numbered – “That’s not nice baby.” (Singing louder) “Where can you run to.
What more can you do. No more tomorrow. Life is killing you.”

3 Yr Old – “No. He’s the best singer!”

7 Yr Old – “No! He’s the worst singer and the person singing on the radio is even worse.”

Out-Numbered – “Now stop that! Ozzy is the best singer of all-time and I’m a very good singer too.”

(Making the radio louder and singing louder.)

Out-Numbered – “Dreams turn to nightmares. Heaven turns to hell. Burned out confusion. Nothing more to tell.”

7 Yr Old – “He’s terrible. He sounds like a girl and you can’t even understand what he’s saying.”

Out-Numbered – “Let me ask you a question. Does he sound like any other singer you’ve ever heard?”

7 Yr Old – “No. He’s annoying. Like you.”

Out-Numbered – “That’s my point.”

7 Yr Old – “What? That you’re annoying?”

Out-Numbered – “No, Dufus. That Ozzy is totally different than anybody else and that’s why he’s the greatest singer ever.”

(Making the radio even louder and singing even louder. Trying to be annoying.)

Out-Numbered – “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath. Nothing more to do.”

3 Yr Old – “I like OZBY, Daddy.”

7 Yr Old – “It’s OZZY dummy.”

(Screaming over the music)

3 Yr Old – “I’m not a dummy. You’re a dummy!”

7 Yr Old – “YOU ARE!”

3 Yr Old – “YOU ARE!!!”

Out-Numbered – (Singing) “Living just for dying. Dying just for you. Yeah!”

7 Yr Old – “I HATE YOU!”

3 Yr Old – “I HATE YOU!”

Out-Numbered – “I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER RIGHT NOW!!! Just as soon as this song is over…”

(Turning it up one more notch…)

7 Yr Old & 3 Yr Old – (Screaming inaudibly behind a wall of Black Sabbath.)

I bet you Ozzy never felt Out-Numbered. He would have bit their little heads off…


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  1. becky.morse on November 24th, 2009 12:27 am

    This story just made me smile and smile 🙂

    I’m the eldest of three (once little) girls, and a baby brother, who showed up eventually. On Sundays, when we all thought we got to sleep in, about 7:30 am, my dad would crank the stereo and the house would rock…

    THUMP
    THUMP
    THUMP
    THUMP
    THUMP
    WYAAAAWWWWW…WYOOOOWWWW…

    I AM IRON MAN!

    And our dad would air guitar and sing to Black Sabbath as he made our breakfast. Occasionally it was some Floyd, but nothing jostles you out of bed like that kick drum.

    Last month at my sister’s wedding, the DJ announced he was playing a request–a sentimental number that would mean a lot to the father of the bride and his children, reminding us of weekend breakfasts and lazy Sunday mornings.

    Afterward, the DJ said he had NEVER in his life played Sabbath at a wedding. It was epic.

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