Nurse Ratchet Strikes Again

Posted by: , March 24, 2010 in 9:31 am

My husband has been sick for days now with what I’ll call a ‘seasonal migraine’.  I say this because the weather has changed.  It rains. It’s humid and then sunny.  It rains again.  Look out for lightening!  Now it is sunny and 70 again.  What started out as a tiny headache has massed itself into a multi-day journey of squinting eyes, moaning, going to bed early, sleeping late and squeezing of his head.

I tried to be nice.  Really, I did.  I get migraines myself so I know just how debilitating they can be.  But you lose my sympathy when you decide not to take any sort of migraine medication you have or even a tiny aspirin.  When I ask if you need anything, if you took any medicine and you snap back, “No! Don’t tell me what to do!”  I’m done.  I’m done with being quiet and trying to take the kids out of your way.  When it is day three of this, with what I will now call, “behavior”, that is when I turn into Nurse Ratchet.

Nurse Ratchet wants you to take your pills or she’s calling in the guards, aka the screaming kids.  Nurse Ratchet will tell you things like, “You need a cold compress for your head.”  And then not lift a finger to get it for you.  When you ask where the cold compress is that she was going to get she smiles sweetly and says, “Oh, I never said I was getting it for you.  I simply thought it was a good idea for you to have one (insert twisted, evil smile here).”  Her maniacal laughter still rings in the air.

Clearly, I have no bedside manner. Florence Nightingale syndrome has eluded me.  Nurse Ratchet is the one that reigns and even my four year-old knows it.  She’s heard the phrase, “Your legs aren’t broken” enough to take her skinned knees elsewhere if she wants any of those princess band-aids to adorn her kneecaps.


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