Freakishly Clean

Posted by: , January 15, 2011 in 12:49 pm


stuffed animalsBecause we are in the process of selling our house, I am attempting to keep the house showroom clean while my husband is sleeping on an air mattress living the bachelor life  in Pennsylvania.  My house is getting to the point of being freakishly clean.  This is something I can keep up for a very limited amount of time, so I hope the house sells quickly.  I know there are people who keep their house totally spotless all the time, and I don’t know how they can stand it.  Seriously, there are about a trillion other things I would like to do with my time, rather than put every little thing back in its special spot.

The best part of getting ready to move is that in order to make your house showroom clean, you have to clear off every. single. surface. in the place.  Magically, it makes the room seem much bigger.  Also, apparently prospective buyers have a hard time picturing their own crap in the house if your crap is already there.  So every photo, every tchotchke, every pile of papers you’ve been meaning to go through … all have to be put somewhere else.  Like in a moving box.  Or in the trash.

I try to put as much of it in the trash as possible.  Not the photos, or anything sentimental.  But the stacks of crap, the McToys, the scraps of this and that.  All must go into the trash, which makes me particularly glad that the kids go back to school tomorrow.  I don’t know how you could pack with kids around, simply because it would make it so awkward to throw out their art projects.

Also, some small stuffed animals will be making a voyage to Operation Gratitude.  I’m sure our many tiny little critters will enjoy their new home in Iraq.  (Gee kids, I have *no idea* where those Beanie Babies went … I guess the movers lost a box or something.)

In fact, I wonder what else I can throw away.  I’m kind of like the opposite of the people on Hoarders.  I simply adore getting rid of stuff when I put my mind to it.  If I can recycle / Freecyle / Goodwill it, so much the better, but I’m not going to let the environment get in the way of me clearing our house of crap, either.

The problem is that the kids, if left to their own devices, would necessitate some kind of Nickelodeon/Hoarders crossover show.  They keep every damn thing.  If they would just squirrel it away, I wouldn’t care.  But most of this stuff is strewn about their rooms and the playroom.  And we’re just not going to have room for it.

As many of you know, the housing market is a little different in Pennsylvania than it is in Texas.  This means we won’t be moving to another Texas-huge house.  We’ll be renting a small three-bedroom with no playroom.  There will be no walk-in closets to shove our stuff into when company comes.  So it would help if we downsized some of our stuff, as well.

I pared down before we moved out here, so really, it’s not that bad. And I did get rid of plenty of my stuff in that purge. It’s just that in the mean time, there’s been two Christmases and four birthdays.  I guess I’ll be dropping some things off at Goodwill, because right now I’m on a mission to keep my house freakishly clean…


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