Eeeew! Mini-Snooki Video

Posted by: , January 25, 2011 in 12:33 pm

Snooki Jersey Shore Video 150x150 Eeeew! Mini Snooki VideoThis video pretty much sums up everything that’s going wrong for so many tweens today. In general, I actually kind of like Snooki, with her Elfin Magic and take-it-or-leave-it body confidence. But this … is just eeeew.

Top Ten Things That Are Wrong Here:

10. “You’re never too young to look bangin’.” The wrongness of a child behind described as “bangin'” is staggering.

9. It appears that Snooki uses her own lipstick on this kid. Dare I ask what kind of creepy-crawlies are in her lipstick?

8. That much hairspray could trigger an asthma attack in a child. Kudos to Snooki for telling the girl to “hold your breath. For like a minute.”

7. The high hair (what we used to call in Philly “the higher the hair, the closer to God”) went out in 1998 even in Jersey.

6. The phrase “the infamous smoky eye.”

5. The word “Guidette.” Or did she say “Guida”? Either way.

4. That much bronzer on a child can only remind one of the Oompa Loompas.

3. “You have to put on the pink lipstick, because boys like pink.” Thank you for setting feminism back about 60 years. Unless you mean that you’re comfortable with gender nonconformist boys wearing pink? Yay! But no. Also, she’s ten. Even if she is into boys, ten-year-old boys do not give a crap about pink lipstick. They’re too busy making fart noises with their armpits.

2. Where. Are. Her. Parents?

1. Eeeeew. Just eeeeew.


1 Feedback so far. to Eeeew! Mini-Snooki Video

  1. Liz Quere Slaybaugh on January 14th, 2011 4:04 pm

    so toxic

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