8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters

Posted by: , September 12, 2011 in 11:25 am


stark. raving. mad. mommy._ As Seen OnWell, holy crap.  JC Penney launched one of the most demeaning t-shirts ever created for girls this week. The Interwebz promptly freaked out, and Penney’s yanked the shirt off their site within hours. 

In case you missed it, it looked like this:

T1Penney 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
JC Penney, girls’ sizes 7 to 16.

Why, yes, it does say “I’m too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me.”

Done throwing up yet?

Many people are wondering which robot monkeys approved this t-shirt for JC Penney.  After all, it’s sexist, demeaning, and clearly not the kind of message any of us wants to send to our daughters, right?

Um, right?

If you’re sad that you already missed the opportunity to tell your daughter she’s a bimbo make everyone laugh, don’t worry!  There’s plenty more inappropriate crap insouciant wit out there for her, sized for infants all the way to juniors!

Tamazon 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
From Amazon, available as a onesie or t-shirt in sizes 6 months to 24 months.

Yay! Who doesn’t dream of their daughter’s future as a doctor lawyer teacher trophy wife?  (It’s a nice career move when you’re done pole dancing.)

tassel 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Available at TwistedTwee.com. To be fair, some of their stuff is awesome.

And speaking of pole dancers, here’s a charming shirt for toddlers with nipple tassels already attached!  Because it’s just so hard to glue them directly to your child.  This shirt, after going viral in 2009, went from £16 to £516 despite still being a piece of crap because now it is a piece of art.

T2 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Kohl’s, girls’ sizes 7 to 16.

Daydreaming was my favorite subject, too.  Now I take Adderall for that.  On the other hand, maybe I should be encouraging my daughter to be proud of her Inattentive-Type ADHD.

t3 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Available at Kmart, juniors’ sizes.

Awesome.  Can you major in that in college, too?  I’m sure there’s good money and lots of careers available in … Communications.

T4kohls 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Another gem from Kohl’s, juniors’ sizes.

Oh!  It’s hilarious on so many levels!  You’re cheating on your boyfriend, and now you’re going to have to cheat on your Algebra test because you didn’t study.  See you on Jerry Springer.

T5target 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Available at Target, juniors’.

I’m not even a religious person, but if I see this on one of my daughters, we’re looking into convent school.

T6vsPink 8 Shirts You Won't See on My Daughters
Available at Victoria’s Secret PINK.

From the company that markets push-up bras in size 30AA for “back to school,” comes this winner. I’m going to go ahead and ignore the panties that say “Earn that A” and “Extra Credit” on the butt.  Likewise the thong that says “Study Buddy.”


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