I am a Yeller

Posted by: , September 18, 2011 in 9:30 am


mommy yelling  1024x768 I am a Yeller

I believe that its darn near impossible to be a parent without yelling.

I think that there are some people out there who can achieve this. In fact I think that I have even witnessed this magic but I am not 100% that they had real children. I am pretty sure the ‘children’ were robots so I am thinking that that doesn’t count.

Whether I like it or not, I am a yeller and yelling happens in this house.

To be honest, yelling happens a lot in our house. I don’t really like it especially since my children have begun to pick up this communication form and use it on each other.

There is nothing that makes you feel like a more terrible parent then to hear one of your kids yell, “I TOLD YOU TO HUSH YOU’RE MOUTH! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT” at their sibling because they hear you yell it all the time.

Total mommy fail!

I think that I yell because it works. It gets my children’s attentions and makes them listen to me. There have been days were I make an effort to not yell. I police myself and use a calm but stern tone but all it gets me is children who do not listen and a splitting tension/stress headache that sends me to the closet with a bag of chocolate chips and a bottle of wine before 3pm.

So, I yell.

I am not proud of this fact but it’s the truth.

One evening after putting the kids to bed, I sat down in my favorite chair and pulled out my laptop ready to begin my ‘me time’ (aka dicking around on the computer until some ungodly hour and then hating myself in the morning because I stayed up too late and my children wake up too early. Yeah, its messed up).

It had not been the best of days and I was tired. I was ready for the quiet of the house to surround me and to just sit.

As I turned the TV on and loaded my favorite internet sites, I heard giggles and jumping from upstairs. I ignored it, figuring that as long as the kids stayed in their rooms they must just need a little time to settle down.

Fine.

I focused my attention on the TV show and my computer and willed the noise to stop. I didn’t want to get up. I was comfy, it was bedtime and the kids should just go to sleep.

But the noises upstairs continued and began to escalate.

I craned my neck to look at Jeff to see if he was hearing the noises too and would maybe get up and do something about it but he was on his computer, wearing head phones, cursing under his breath while in the middle of a battle in his computer game.

“Three more minutes”, I told myself. “Then I will get up and do something about the noises.”

But I couldn’t wait the whole three minutes because the noise level upstairs was as loud as a football stadium full of screaming fans.

I took my computer off my lap and set it on the floor. I then walked into the front entry way of the house which is open and has direct line of sight into the kids rooms. Then instead of walking up the stair to scold each child, I stood at the bottom, took a deep breath and yelled.

“IT IS BEDTIME! THAT MEANS…. QUIIIIIEETTTTT!!!”

The noise stopped immediately.

I walked back to my chair and sat back down.

“Wow,” Jeff said from the kitchen, “that was some impressive yelling.”

I let a heavy sigh escape my lips. I was not in the mood for some crap from Jeff. I was tired, upset and just wanted the peace that comes when children sleep.”

“Whatever,” I said trying to blow him off hoping that he would just stop and go back to his game.

“That”s some crazy scary yelling.  It’d scared the pee out of people.” he said.

This was not what I needed. I did not need a guilt trip, not now and not from a man who himself was a yeller.

“Come on. Just stop it. I don’t need you judging me….” I began.

“No wait,” he said interrupting me, “I meant that when you yelled, I didn’t see you get up so your yelling scared me so badly that I peed a little in my shorts.”

A huge smile spread across my lips and then I began to laugh.

“Sorry,” I said in between giggles, “I didn’t mean to make you pee.”

But my words fell on deaf ears since his attention was back on his game again.

I thought about yelling at him but decided against it since I wasn’t in the mood to mop up a puddle.


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